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Sunday, November 20, 2011

Why oh why do people who know nothing about adoptee's experience think they do?

I am so tired of being made to feel like I should be grateful for being abandoned by my mother. Really..... If my mother died at birth would you tell me you were sorry for my loss?


Tammy said...

Your experience is new to me.
I am an adopted adult. I was adopted at about 3 weeks... the youngest of three children - all adopted.

Unlike your experience, I have never felt abandoned by my birth mother - or felt that I was unloved by someone.
I have always viewed it as a true blessing that I was put in the family God intended for me. My parents (who raised me) are my REAL parents. The whole thing was God's plan. (just like every other family)

Hearing from adoptees like you - finally make me understand why there are people out there who think all adopted kids are "messed up" - and I'm left to prove that I'm normal.

I can't imagine how your adoption was handled to make you feel this way.
I knew my entire life that I was adopted. My mom told me that another woman had me, but she and dad were my parents. That made sense and was good enough for me.

I AM blessed that my birth parents made the greatest sacrifice to make sure I had a good home with people who loved me. I don't begrudge them the difficult decision... and I bless them for doing what was hard to do.

I never got to say goodbye said...

Hi Tammy Welcome to my blog. I felt a lot like you for most of my life. It was not until into my twenties I identified my adoption as the root of the problems I was having. Please feel free to keep posting and commenting. It is good to hear from another adoptee.

Adopted said...

Yes, I used to feel like Tammy too. But without the God's Plan part of it. You really have to actually spend time with your bioparents for these feelings to really surface I think. Its simply nothing, a legend, a fairy tale, when you don't know them.