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Saturday, December 24, 2011

My oh my Merry Christmas

Sorry I have not posted lately I have been busy falling in love.
And dealing with abandonement issues due to having someone in my life I care about and don't want to leave. He puts his shoes on and I think he is leaving me forever. He knows this about me and is very sensitive to my needs which is great. He will say I am going to put my shoes on and go to car to get something and I will be right back in ok.
Ok. But until he gets back in I think secretly to myself he is leaving.... I have offended him in some way or he just KNOWS that I really am no good and he can do better.
Oh how I wish I could manage to retrain my brain....
It is so much nicer now tho than when I was younger. At least I know now I am like this and can manage my emotions a little better.... or keep things to myself that make me look strange to others.
Kids are off to their dads and I am home alone. Going to Christmas with a lady I clean for and her family so nice of them to invite me.
Today I am procrastinating cleaning my house. It s just tooooo bad and toooo messy toooo big of a task.... WAH WAH WAH. I don't want to be a grown up lol.
My bmom called this morning and we had a good talk. Amom and Adad come the 27th for Christmas here.
I really just can't wait for it to be over