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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

So I am going to try blogging once a day for thirty days and see if I can get in the groove again.
My writing is awful so forgive me but I am going to try writing from the heart.
It is rainy here today and I have so much to do but seems I am not getting off this darn computer .... again.... We went computer free for 4 years and I am already sucked back into the world of the web.... Stuck like a fly.

I was reading a blog from a woman who calls herself a Adoption professional.... her job is convincing women they can not raise there own babies and to give them up for adoption. It saddened me. While I don't think there is no place for adoption I do think we need to SUPPORT mothers to keep their own children and not bully them into placing them into other families.

My own mother was alone and afraid with no support. Her world was bleak. If someone had reached out and helped her who knows what would have been?

Or if she had reached out herself?

I was the same age as my mother when I got pregnant with my first child. I was not married tho did have a boyfriend I ended up marrying. My adoptive parents said it was the thing to do and we fell in line. We are now since divorced and I am raising our two kids alone for the most part. Adoptive family is supportive but lives 6 hours away.

When I first left my ex with my two little ones in tow we went directly to my aparents house. They had us call a shelter and get things started on moving into a transitional housing shelter apartment... I have blogged about this before. It still hurts. That was 4 years ago.
It hurts.
But their son was moving home and his college roommate oh what to do with Emilie and her two kids.

I am going to tell you a story.

When my son was 3 and my daughter 1 I went home for Thanksgiving. My son was sitting at the kitchen table. My abrother came into the house and went into the fridge to get something to eat. HE threw the lid to his food on the ground and told my amother to pick it up bitch like you pick up after everyone else. He then proceeded to empty the entire contents of a trash bag onto the kitchen floor and again told her to pick it up bitch. HE then went downstairs to the basement.
I looked at my mom and said Don't ever tell me he has changed again.

Shortly after this my mom came to me so excited! She said to me- He was JUST MAD BECAUSE Keagan( my son) was sitting in HIS CHAIR!!! Well of course. Who would not react that way due to a 3 year old sitting in "their" chair at the table!!!

What mother would not excuse this behavior as understandable and appropriate!!!
All is forgiven. We were just in his way.


Jeannette said...

Thank you for writing your story from your POV. I think all mothers in adoption should listen more to the adoptees.

Your afamily just makes me so angry. I hate that you had to not only lose your first mother but then be brought up with this crap too.

I never got to say goodbye said...

thank you. It is upsetting isn't it! It helps me to write it out though and I will continue to do so. Thanks for reading. :) I subbed to your blog too.